
I Never Saw It Coming
I was used to the struggle, the suffering,
the pain and disappointments that life kicked out.
I thought it was expected to feel neglected,
rejected and best to just accept it
than let hope replace doubt.
To once have - then lose - the hugging,
the loving, seeing the fun in this life as others live it now…
To have had that intimacy
when a brother was into me, digging me,
may have thrown me for a loop somehow.
But I didn’t see it coming:
my heart jumping and humming
like a drum
in the wrong place
in the middle of a musical score.
It was totally unexpected
that I could feel this rested,
free to just let it – let me just express it
– my soul drifting out to sea
but always coming back to shore.

Through soul-searching and self-discovery,
I uncovered me.
Though first unwilling,
I find it thrilling
living independently.
My reliance just on One,
not his earthly sons,
but on Him who cares,
shares and repairs
what broke inside…
I found strength in my aloneness;
it took some boldness
but now I own it
and have no cause to hide.
I went inside myself and came out flying,
determined and trying
to let go, make a difference,
start anew and do something.
I found my voice.
I had no choice
to go it alone,
but with Jah’s help,
I found my home
and I never saw it coming!
(For my Monica, with love
Baci ed abbracci, Adrienne)